


Uncool, Strange, Very Weird, Not Normal.

by orphan_account



Category: Homestuck
Genre: (both bro and dave exist as different characters shh), Alternate Universe - College/University, Alternate Universe - No Sburb/Sgrub Sessions, Alternate Universe- New Jersey, F/F, Homophobic Language, M/M, Summer Vacation, Trans Character, Trans Karkat Vantas, Underage Drinking, cliches everywhere my b, i havent written anything in a good long while so this might suck ass, lol is that a tag, no beta reader my b, so very far from canon but it is 2020 we read homestuck fanfic like men, they go to the beach :), transphobic language, uhhhhh probably bad but if u got suggestions PLS comment i need help with everything
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-07-15
Updated: 2020-07-18
Packaged: 2021-03-05 03:46:46
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 3
Words: 2,269
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25277926
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/orphan_account
Summary: uhh i am sad and projecting. like comment subscribe thx for watchingjust kidding. so homestuck kids go to the beach bc most of them have only been like four times or not even at all which is tragicand they go to college but its summertime and i got my hat on backwards and its time to fuckin party
Relationships: Dave Strider/Karkat Vantas
Kudos: 8





	1. background bc that is usually important in a story

**Author's Note:**

> uh so obligatory comment: i am not trans but i strongly questioned my gender a few yrs ago. if anything is sounding transphobic or just flat out bad pls say something and i'll change it :')  
> a warning: a good sweet 40% of this will b like my irl friends making fun of me for new jersey so theres that  
> its 2020 i havent organically read homestuck in a minute but quarantine is doing some stuff to a bitch (i published this last night at 2 am and im just fixing it now, sorry lol)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> this chapter is just general background and sort of a warmup? bc i havent written anything creative in such a long time

Karkat had a shitty first year at college. 

The first semester his roommate had been rumored that he wasn’t even a student, among other things, and his friends to this day won't speak his name out loud in fear that he'll somehow magically spawn behind them. Karkat tries not to dwell on the thought of he who shall not be named like he is literally Voldemort. No chances. Unfortunately, he was reassigned to another roommate the next semester instead of having a two-person dorm to himself. Sollux was a fairly introverted guy who never left the dorm aside from occasional trips to the grocery store and to buy from his plug. How they never got busted for the smell was beyond him at the time, but now he knows how much fucking paperwork it takes. Deep down he was a sweet guy, and they got along great by basically only talking when necessary and just existing near each other. But once Karkat heard that RAs get to dorm by themselves and get paid for it while listening to people complain, he signed right the fuck up. That year, Karkat fell into a deep depression and felt isolated from his family he was finally away from, although they were only about an hour and a half drive away. Not to mention he called his grandmother almost every day just to tell her that he’s walking to the laundromat or about what he had for lunch. Karkat was raised at the beach and missed the ability to just go listen to the waves when he’s too sad or overwhelmed to deal with his emotions. Almost that entire year he was so lonely and he did not want to suddenly break the chill vibes with his roommate and start you know, talking to him further than a “hey you have physics today right?”

One nondescript day he was sitting alone in some choice seating by the window at the library on the loud floor where study groups can meet when a kid wearing fucking sunglasses, inside, asked if he was sitting alone or waiting for anybody, and Karkat stupidly said he was waiting for somebody and resumed smacking at his keyboard. This shit had to get done somehow. Fifteen minutes later, the same guy returned and just said he was gonna sit next to him because the sad vibes were getting to him. They weirdly sat near each other while the sunglasses kid kept trying to strike conversation and Karkat trying to inconspicuously let him know that he wanted to be left alone. This obviously didn't happen as the kid pestered him until they exchanged phone numbers and social media accounts. That kid did not shut the fuck up. Karkat was so intent on pretending to not care about their conversation that he never caught his name until he checked out his Instagram. Dave Strider. He wasn't a fan of selfies which was unfortunate, Karkat thought to himself. Most of the pictures posted to his feed were either group pictures or memes that looked like they have been reposted a countless number of times until the picture resolution deteriorates from being reposted so many fucking times across different social media sites. Maybe it was sort of a meme that Dave wears sunglasses indoors, or maybe he was one of the kids who begged their parents for those sick ass transition glasses as a kid and then never got new ones. Although, the frames fit his semi-adult face so that most likely wasn't the case unless his head has always been like an average twenty-year-old head size.

Looking at Dave’s Instagram feed made Karkat pretend to be Dave looking at his own profile. You know, because that is a completely normal thing to do after exchanging social media handles. There were absolutely no pictures of him pre-transition, as if there was a set date that Karkat transitioned. A couple of pictures from high school still have to be archived because they show how fucking lonely he was. The most hurtful ones were of him attending a semiformal dance with his one and only friend, Terezi. They both had huge plans about what they’re gonna do come college, she was going to move to Oregon and his plans, quite obviously, fell through. One fucking mental breakdown and suddenly your family doesn’t want you moving across the country anymore.

Dave added Karkat to a group chat a few hours after he got Karkat’s number. He returned to his dorm and felt his phone buzzing in his pocket.

Dave Strider added ?? to the chat.

JE: ?? dave, who did you add?

DS: oh i met him at the library

DS: he looked sad

DS: introduce yourself my guy

?? changed their name to Karkat Vantas.

KV: MY NAME’S KARKAT. I’M A FRESHMAN, MAJORING IN CLOUD COMPUTING AND SYSTEM ANALYSIS AND MINORING IN ENVIRONMENTAL SCIENCE. I DON’T KNOW WHAT ELSE TO SAY. DAVE ADDED ME HERE I GUESS.

DS: woah dude do you actually hate yourself

JH: hi karkat!! im jade and also evs!! we might have some classes together, you should send me your schedule if ya want!!

RL: Hello Karkat.

JE: are you in my 8 am? bio in stewart hall? your name seems familiar.

Karkat ended up emailing his professor asking for another extension because that goddamn program was not writing itself like he thought it would, and stack overflow wasn't as helpful as it had been in the past.


	2. ra duties <3

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> another 2am upload. things will most likely happen soon, if i can reteach myself how to write  
> there's been ideas for this floating around in my head but when i type them out its hot garbage  
> im not an ra and i barely lived in the dorms so idk how true any of this is

Karkat’s new status as an RA means he has an entire two-person dorm to himself. He doesn’t have to worry about walking in on a roommate having sex or existing. There’s no shower schedule or leftover dishes he didn’t eat off of, or any of the issues that come with living with a randomly assigned person. Karkat’s trying to be the best RA he can be, whether that be listening to complaints, supplying his residents with condoms and other accessories, hosting the best floor meetings and scheduling group Avatar watch nights, or even just staying 100% out of their way when subtly requested.

He supposes he could be less lenient, but he isn’t going to be a giant asshole hypocrite for busting residents having alcohol when he drinks in his own dorm. Plus, most of them are upperclassmen this year and have already been harassed by past RAs, so he doesn't want to just be another write-off dickhead RA. He tries his hardest to pretend like he doesn’t notice dorm parties unless it is particularly obscene, or unless he was invited, which, yes, really did happen last semester. The host was probably trying to be nice, he hoped, but when he knocked on the door of the party to check it out, a kid with a shirt that read “security” answered and immediately recognized Karkat. His face went ghostly white and began stammering excuses. Katkat hinted that he should let the host know that maybe next time, don’t invite your RA after the invite says BYOB.  
“Y’know, the last letter of the acronym could stand for Books,” Security said, and grabbed a textbook from a backpack near the door, frantically flipping it open, and attempting to read the textbook from upside down.Karkat pinched the bridge of his nose and pretended not to see the strip LEDs flashing rapidly in the background and turned to go back to his dorm.

  
Later that night he wanted to figure out which dumbass it was as security.

  
KV: WERE ANY OF YOU AT A DORM ROOM PARTY LAST NIGHT?

DS: uh oh mr snitch bitch is tryna get the inside scoop

DS: but no

JH: nope, i heard them until about 3 am >:(

KV: THE BRAINLESS DUMB FUCK STANDING AT THE DOOR TRIED TO TELL ME BYOB COULD STAND FOR BRING YOUR OWN BOOKS.

KV: FOLLOWING THAT HE PRETENDED TO READ AN ANTHROPOLOGY TEXTBOOK UPSIDE DOWN WHILE HE WAS CLEARLY BLACKOUT DRUNK.

JE: jesus christ lol. i’m not sure who that could be but that’s awful.

  
\----------------------------  
The second semester of Karkat’s sophomore year was coming to an end with finals being in two weeks. He was taking a lighter load this semester with some online classes alongside his in-person ones. In reality, none of it was really “light.” He just liked to call it that to boost his ego.  
Students have about three more weeks before move out day. Being the thoughtful RA he is, and knowing the Barnes and Noble down the street can reserve empty shipment boxes for students if an employee is asked nicely, Karkat finds joy out of helping his residents. And being nice to the cute cafe cashier in the store.  
Karkat picked up his phone to text Terezi to see how she’s doing. He tries to stay updated with her as much as possible, but she is often swamped with assignments to talk like they used to. Also, the time difference makes things a little difficult. She’s in Oregon and he’s never left New Jersey, so the three hour gap typically means they can’t talk until about nine at night when all her classes are over.

  
“WHAT DAY ARE YOUR FINALS OVER?” he sent, not expecting a reply for some time. He was planning on going home for the summer break, although he could technically stay in his dorm until the next semester. He already talked to his grandmother about having friends stay at their house for a week or two. He hasn’t seen Terezi since she moved to the west coast, and he wants her to meet his new friends. Karkat did rope her into their groupchat, but being together in person would be so much better. Plus, they would be in their hometown again, and the two have changed enough to not be recognized by the locals and high school classmates.


	3. ch3: cool cool cool very nice very fun

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> I am given up writing in their typing styles. I’m so sorry but its a fucking headache, esp Terezi and there prob wont be that much texting in the future. If its that bad ill change it later lmao it is currently 315 am and I need to fix my sleep schedule before I have to go back to work  
> they will go to the beach soon I promise

It was past midnight when Karkat got a response from Terezi.

“Last class is on the 16th, and everythings due that week. Im so ready for this to be over, my brain feels unreservedly fried. Who knew how ethical laws could get am I right lmao just throw the bad guys in jail its that fuckin easy peasy”

“Are you coming home?” He sent back to her, hoping he knew the answer already. She brought up plane ticket prices about a month ago. He tried to stay awake for her response, but it was getting late and he has an early class and a long workout following that. He can’t miss out on any much needed sleep, and despite however dark his undereye bags look, he needs at least seven hours of sleep a night to function and not be a raging asshole. Loading his schedule up to finish school in four years doesn’t typically mean that happens every night.

Much to his fucking chagrin, she hadn’t texted him back last night, or in the morning. It was around 3 pm when he texted his friends to come over so they could hang out and study together to get his mind off Terezi. Maybe shes not ignoring him, and she truly is swamped with work and cant reply. Or maybe they’ve drifted enough apart for her to feel weird coming back and spending time with him. They haven’t seen each other in person since she left him.

When Karkart extended his hospitality to invite his new friends back to his dorm to study for finals and hang out together, he did not expect to get absolutely fucking annihilated for asking if anybody wanted a glass of water. He was pouring one for himself from the Brita with his back towards his friends, sitting among his couch and assortment of chairs in his living room area, if it was even big enough to call it that. He heard muffled laugher coming from Rose and Jade, who was secretly elbowing her.

“Excuse me? A glass of wood?” John scoffed. Dave couldn’t resist the urge to join in on bullying Karkat and added, “Does that WAHTER come in oak or pine flavor or are you happy to see me?” It didn’t really make that much sense, but he got his joke in.

“I don’t even have a real penis, so shut the fuck up,” is what Karkat would have said if he was with Terezi. Instead, he made a show of clearing his throat and overenunciated the question again, “WOULD ANYBODY LIKE A GLASS OF WOOD-ER?” They all laughed and it was a great time, for sure. But Karkat was beating himself up over not using that high-quality retort and coming out in the same sentence, it could have saved him some breath. 

It isn’t that he’s insecure with his body still, but he hasn’t publicly come out to anybody on campus yet. Sure, there’s a rainbow pride flag hanging in his dorm room, but that is so open for interpretation, he thought to himself. Is he just a supportive RA? Did he go to pride? Is he gay? Has he spent too much of his childhood fighting with grown-ass transphobes, because they believed he was too young to decide that he wants to be a boy instead? Since the cishets think it would be so silly and goofy if, say, somebody has their pronouns publicly displayed, and then be referred to as ‘opposite ones!!!!!!!’ When it comes down to discussing identity in some of his social science classes, his heart starts pounding in his eardrums with anger and past guilt from not standing up to those who continued to misgender him. So he just grinned and took a sip of his wooder.


End file.
